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Stamfordham Velo is pleased to report that it's diet and fitness co-ordinator Mr Curtis has had a learned research article accepted for publication by the highly respected Fermented Malt Based Sport Drinks Monthy.

The article is reproduced in full below 

Names of Fermented Malt Based Sports Drinks - by Mr  Curtis
  
1. Manufactured by Deuchars, an ancient scottish company, they have produced their Instant Performing Athlete sports drink for many years.If you fancy giving this a try ask for Deuchars I.P.A.

2. Timothy Taylors, so called because of the old pharmaceutical company which was taken over by Boots in the 1960's, Timothy Whites and Taylors or TWATS for short, have produced their Landlord sports drink for many years. When ordering this just shout Landlord's a Twat please.

3. A brew especially designed for Stamfordham Velos and produced just outside the village, at High House Farm, in the rolling Northumberland countryside is their High Energy Maximum Protein drink. This comes in various guises but I can recommend asking for the 'Old' variety. When ordering this please ask for Old Hemp.

 4. One of my personal favourites and a very effective drink for cyclists is the oddly named Bottom Bracket and Seat Stem. It has a slightly sweeter taste than some of the other sports drinks. It comes in two pack sizes 1/2 and 1. Just ask for Bass.

5. Another favourite of Stamfordham Velos and again produced by High House is there Big Energy STrength sports drink. This is produced to an ancient and secret recipe which is reputed to have been first made by the only woman ever to have cycled up Ryal Banks - it's far too steep for girls. This remarkable woman spent several weeks trying to get up the hill by coming up with different recipes for sports drinks but it was only after she had drunk this one that she managed the steep climb. The drink is named after her so if you fancy giving this one a try, just ask for Nell's Best.

6. Named after a pair of quality suspension forks, my final recommendation is a really special treat. Nature's Own Brew is a completely natural product that calms the digestive system and numbs the nervous system enabling the drinker to perform to the best of his ability. This drink can prove extremely popular and it is important to be able to recognise one's own so don't be afraid to keep it in your hand. If you fancy giving this one a try ask for Fox's Nob



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